boejucci.

more like YES-stalgia!

Wed, 20 Jan 2010 22:05:16 -0500

i just recently read through a number of my old posts and couldn’t help but laugh. well, at least for most. it’s so strange to revisit your old self and jump into that mindset and that personality again. i’ve changed so much in so little time. it really is odd, but i enjoyed it. i laughed, i cried, i deleted ;) and now i’m moving on.

for a moment i thought it all strange. but then i realized: strange is okay, perfectly normal is what’s really scary.

Audio

Sun, 16 Aug 2009 00:20:41 -0400

Facebook 1n 1337 5p34k!

Sun, 10 May 2009 23:33:59 -0400

Facebook 1n 1337 5p34k!

Hmm.

Sun, 03 May 2009 18:22:32 -0400

So im about to graduate from college. I think my last post was about how stressed i was about a job and work i hadnt done. Oddly enough i have the job, but the work seems to never stop. I keep thinking to myself that things will be better when i can leave work at work. But i think thats just a false premonition. Each new point in life comes with its own new challenges and none is easier than the one before. I guess we’re just supposed to be prepared; to be competent enough to handle those new challenges. At 21 i’d say i was competent at many things, but i can’t possibly try to say i can handle those things that lay ahead. The simple reason is that i don’t know what is ahead! How can i sit here and say i can handle it when i don’t know what the “it” is? I guess i’ll just stick to what i have right here in front of me and take this last finals week one day at a time. God has blessed me in so many ways and i’m so thankful to be where i am. Now it’s my turn to finish up and move on to the next part he’s put before me and still try to get some sleep. here’s hoping i break even. sent from my phone Joey Bucci 856.524.0878 joseph.b.bucci@gmail.com

fake bricks and commentaries.

Fri, 20 Mar 2009 18:58:00 -0400

So I’ve been sitting here at Starbucks (I know, I’m not supporting local business, but there is live music at the local coffee shop and I can’t concentrate) for close to 3 hours and as much as I’m focusing on my work, I can’t help but let my mind wander. Did I get that job? What car am I going to buy? Can I even afford a car right now? How much longer can I pretend I’m not a student? I know I shouldn’t be worrying, but I just can’t help myself.

This is an eerily pivotal point in my life and it’s all starting to get to me. There are few things I need: to finish college, a job, a car, health insurance. Those bring home rent, food, etc. There are also a couple of things I want pretty badly: the flexibility to continue making music, to no longer have homework and the stress of college, a large car (or SUV). But what if all of my wants and needs are somehow backward? Everyone I know tells me something different and my heart and my head are at odds. For this being such an important point in my life, it seems awfully ambiguous. I’m fully aware of what’s going on around me. Whether or not I choose to let them effect is my own undoing. I know that college is just a way to get a degree that I can use to ransom a salary from some large company, and I’m all about sticking it to the man, but there’s no way to win in this situation. To drop out would be retarded. Absolutely retarded. I’m 3 months from 2 diplomas—free ones at that. But I hate that I need them and need to impress some employer just so I can go on living. It seems there is no room for idealism in the world today and so I’m over trying to convince people otherwise. I’m just rambling.

I just wish things weren’t so uncertain. If my life is supposed to be as “cookie cutter” as I’m told it is, why do I have no idea what the heck is going on? It’s supposed to be as simple as college-job-house-family-kids, rinse and repeat. But alas, it is not so. Don’t think I’m looking to make things overly dramatic—that’s not the plan. I’m just trying to figure out how all of this is done. Here I sit, looking at fake bricks and commentaries, unraveling the nuances of the Christian faith and the deepest realms of the human soul, and ultimately wondering, “if I buy gas, will I have enough money for dinner?” And so I’ll wait upon God, hoping, when I should be knowing, that He is going to take care of me. The last time I made life plans, I moved 350 miles to a town I’d never heard of. I really hope that doesn’t happen again.

Job Search Mania.

Sat, 14 Mar 2009 00:43:17 -0400

I know I haven’t updated in a while, but I’m in a particularly boxed-in mood combined with an excess of geek. So i figured I would get back on the horse and let you know what’s up.

I recently interviewed for a position at the Educational Management Corporation. They own the Art Institutes, Argosy University, South University and Brown Mackie College. The position I applied for was Assistant Director of Admissions for their online programs.

Let me clear up some confusion:
1) There are like 30 ADA positions. It sounds fly, but it’s not much different from what I currently do at Geneva.
2) I have said before that the position was with the Art Institute of Pittsburgh. That’s only mostly right. I could work for any of the schools owned by the EDMC (except Brown Mackie, since they don’t have an online program). It’s possible I won’t be working for AIP, but I’ll be in the same building doing the same work.
3) I’m still in the running, despite the recent drama-filled Tweets I’ve been flooding you all with.

I should be hearing back from the EDMC this next week and hopefully I’ll be getting the job. I’ve been planning on moving into the SouthSide with Bryan Humphreys (AKA b-hump, humpy, hump-tastic or a number of other things) and this would make everything work out quite well. If it falls through, I’m sure I can find something else. But I’d like this job and I’m sure it’ll treat me well. So. It’d be cool if I get it. I’ll let you all know at a later date.

Coffe.

Sat, 24 Jan 2009 15:56:31 -0500

The other day, I went home and skipped class and had coffee with my mom. It wasn’t about anything special, I just needed to go home and grab something and we just got to talking. About school, my car, clothes, carpets, HGTV, etc. So basically…nothing. But it was wonderful. My mom works a lot. Maybe yours doesn’t, but mine does. And I don’t really get to see her every day. I often leave early in the morning and get home late at night and she works crazy hours too. So when I get to see her (and she hasn’t been awake for 72 hours) I try to spend time with her. It’s strange that I never really felt like I missed her. I mean, we live in the same house. But I truthfully hardly see her. The time I spent with her was great. I really did miss her. For those of you thinking I’m crazy: go say hi to your mom. Or call her. Or something. Even if you move away, she’ll always be your mom. Don’t wait too long before you tell her you love her. Mom, if you’re reading, I love you too.

melpomene.

Mon, 12 Jan 2009 23:04:31 -0500

overbearing. too much. i get that a lot. but it would be awesome if that wasn’t the case right now.
i think way to much, but i just don’t know the answers and so i continue to think.
i wish i crawl out of my own head and watch things fall around.
entropy is for optimists. failure is for pessimists. worrying belongs to the realist.
happy, sad, mournful, joyus. are they all love songs?

open my eyes or cut my skin to see clearly.

8.30.

Tue, 06 Jan 2009 02:06:49 -0500

Man, I’ve been really frustrated recently. Why? A number of things, I guess. I’m just rather stressed over a whole lot of nothing. I mean, it’s all something, but, I don’t know. I’m just talking in circles.

I guess I’ve been the most stressed about things that have just been sitting in my mind. All of these things that aren’t worked out, that are just kind of floating, waiting to be resolved. It’s killing me. I work myself into a panic most times. I wish everything could be on some kind of a check list or a timeline, something tangible that I could cross things off of. I’m not real big on checklists, but it always seems i make one in my head. And these aren’t the type of things you’d normally put on a check list, like, “take out trash,” or, “call the doctor.” Ahhhh. I just think too much.

Maybe if i went to bed at 8.30 I would just sleep through the night, rather than keeping myself up by thinking.

this view is getting old fast.

Sat, 03 Jan 2009 18:30:40 -0500

this view is getting old fast.

ahh, to live alone.

Mon, 29 Dec 2008 02:09:46 -0500

it’s amazing to me how different i am on my own and in my parent’s house. when i live under their roof, i tend to be a bit more of a slob, not keep after my clothes, leave my desk a mess and never really come home. when i live on my own i do much the opposite: i clean up, i do the dishes, i keep my desk clear, i put my clothes in the hamper and i enjoy the silence of home. i keep telling myself it has something to do with some kind of ownership; knowing that i am the only one that will do the work drives me to do it. but that’s not a good excuse.

right now the rents are gone. it’s just me and teddy at home and while he doesn’t like to clean up very much, i have the sudden urge to take out the trash and run the dishwasher. strange, i know. the work has to get done somehow and if theo isn’t going to bunker down and do it, i guess it’s on me. this isn’t any diss to him (i know you’re the only one who actually reads my blog), it’s just an observation of my strange life and my strange double standards.

sometimes i really want a nine-to-five; just a simple job to go to, one i enjoy, and one that makes a decent amount of money. i don’t need a lot, i just need food, shelter, and cable. ha. i kind of want to be one of those old people who have “their shows” that they watch. i’d love to come home on a thursday night and make myself a sandwich and watch Bones or House or something.

it’s not extravagant, it’s not up-beat or anything to gawk at. it’s just…simple. it makes sense. and i searching for security amidst the risks i’m taking? i wouldn’t trade my music for anything. honestly. but a thursday night alone is eerily tempting.

so i cried in church today.

Thu, 25 Dec 2008 01:48:55 -0500

yup. just bawled.

i will admit i was a little embarrassed because i was sitting right next to bryan humphreys and i didn’t wanna cry in front of him. but i still did.

it was really very strange. the whole Christmas eve service i was sitting there and singing out, trying to let everyone around me know that i was better at singing carols than they were. conceited? yes. am i all the time? no. but the guy on stage was very good and rather than just accept that he was good, i had to prove to myself that i was good too. dumb, right? anyone in their right mind wouldn’t do such a thing. but i’d like to say i’m my right mind. although i’m not sure my right mind is THE right mind.

when the end of the service came, everyone started singing silent night accompanied by a light piano. very intimate, soothing; perfect for the candle-lit portion of the service. i opened my mouth to sing (once again just a bit louder than everyone else) but nothing came out. i just started bawling. i don’t know what happened, really. i just kept moving my mouth and pushing air but all that came out were tears.

i’m not trying to write about how sovereign this holiday is (though it truly is) or to call you all to silence. i was just broken by the sound of everyone else’s voices. i don’t know what this means yet (maybe just a simple, “shut up, joey”), but i’m glad it happened. i got to focus on the words of that old carol and i realized they do more than rhyme.

i am terrified.

Fri, 14 Nov 2008 02:41:07 -0500

recently i’ve been focusing on the “big picture”, thinking i had missed it while i was looking at the small things. everyone told me that. regularly. so i figure they know what’s up and i don’t. i should focus on the “big-ness” of the Kingdom, the large and extravagant things that people are talking about, that there are stories about. i wanted to be in one of these stories. i wanted to live a “big” life and show God in “big” ways. but am i still missing something?

what if God’s “big-ness” is defined by our “small-ness”?

i can’t help but think of the final scene of men in black (the original, of course) in which the camera begins to zoom out at a ridiculous rate, showing stars and planets and finally the edges of our galaxy. then it shows our milky way as a marble and some creature is playing with it. ha! made me laugh at first, but then made me think about how small we are. it makes me wonder how big God is and how far reaching his Kingdom is. but it also makes me wonder about our small things. can the big-ness of God be described in something as small as a game of marbles? no. but can his huge love be shown in that game of marbles? yes.

i think i’ve begun to ramble.

what i’m trying to say is that i have been looking at televangelists and big revivals and huge sightings of God’s power and skipping the love i’m supposed to show to God and people every day. it’s like i’ve been looking to CEOs of major companies but skipped the starving children. where did i go wrong?! why did i think it was okay to stop caring so much? now i’m not saying those big things aren’t great. they are wonderful acts of God and he deserves the glory for them. but i’m trying to say that we are called to show great love in the small things we do as well.

i’m having trouble articulating this feeling, this urge coming up from my stomach and spitting out of my mouth. i’m not eloquent enough to make it a thought-provoking speech that brings tears to the eyes of many and changes people’s hearts. but i’m just so scared that i’ve been living life with my eyes half open, missing the rest of the story. where has my life gone?! what has become of all of my fruit?! did i have any to start with? have i been caring enough? have i been sharing, feeding, loving, providing, praying enough?

i don’t want to be a big deal. i don’t need fame and riches. i don’t need to be a well known preacher or an exalted minister. i just need to love God and love others.

the one thing that scares me the most is that i won’t live up to the name i’ve been given; to the life i’ve been given. and while i know i can never do enough to please God, i’m terrified that i’m not even trying.

simply put.

Fri, 26 Sep 2008 21:48:00 -0400

so it seems many people have enjoyed the song i recently put up on facebook. that, or they just enjoyed making fun of my big hair at the end of a long day. either way, a good number of people have commented on it. so that’s cool.

but for those of you who don’t know, i just wanted to let you in a little secret: this song wasn’t written for it’s musicality, for masterful lyrics or a catchy melody. it was written to express a feeling, a thought. it’s been a long few weeks and i’ve been feeling like a failure more and more (some of that has to do with the limited amount of sleep i’ve been getting). but one recent night, while i was feeling sorry for myself, i was attacked by the notion that God still loves me regardless. and so that’s what i wrote that song about.

it’s about falling, about failing, about hurting worse than ever, about constantly letting yourself and others down. it’s about hurting friends, breaking promises and telling lies. it’s about the deepest darkest parts of me. but it’s also about the overwhelming dedication and selflessness of Jesus, with each refrain acting as a love song from Him to me.

simply put, this song is about grace. so be warned, be convicted, but be encouraged and inspired, because you are loved.

i'm such a tool.

Fri, 12 Sep 2008 02:22:17 -0400

i just posted on a couple of these discussions from this “Christian” facebook group. i was freaking out reading everything that had been written. the thing that got me the most was when people would be asked a question, not know the answer, but still spew out some nonsense and make Christians everywhere look like tools. one such discussion had many atheists arguing with Christians who just kept spewing. it was rough.

let’s just set the record straight: if you don’t know, say it. tell them you’ll look it up and get back to them, be it in real life or on the internet. don’t try and answer incorrectly, that’s just worse. be real, be honest.

i’m not posting this to say that i know all the answers. (which in a sense makes this post a HUGE oxymoron, but we’ll just forget about that). in fact, i’m quite the opposite. but that’s the point: i’ll be the first to tell you i suck and i’m wrong. often, since i suck and i’m wrong, i need people to tell me that as well. but that’s how it goes. let’s embrace hopeless dependence on love and the bodies/minds God gave us and use them! God gave Christians brains, too. let’s show people we have them.

taste? what taste?

Tue, 26 Aug 2008 23:09:59 -0400

am i less of a man for listening to the band Paramore? i think not. i would actually go so far as to say that i am more of a man for listening to Paramore.

4 out of 5 doctors agree.

And Then There Was One.

Tue, 26 Aug 2008 20:32:24 -0400

strange. school starts up again and i’m the least bit overjoyed. actually, not strange. i’ve got to be honest: i’m so over it. class and busy work have been the bane of my very existence since i was old enough to function. thank you, gov’t. i’d love to say that the voluntary, after high school thing is better, but i’d be lying. school will always be school and i will never be a fan.

the one thing that keeps me excited about a new year is what i’ll learn. and no, i don’t mean in class. i mean the other 8-10 hours a day that i’m awake and not taking notes. i’d pay twenty-five grand just to hang out with all of these people. nothing could compare to how i’ve grown and what i’ve learned thanks to the environment i’ve been placed in. granted, it hasn’t been smooth or easy, but it’s been happening and i’m thankful for that every day. that’s what keeps me going.

when i graduate, i’m not going to wave around two bachelors degrees and tell people what a wonderful scholar i am. i’ll just look at pictures of all of you and thank God.

hot dogs.

Tue, 12 Aug 2008 17:27:00 -0400

i had a strange epiphany today, triggered by a strange feeling. i wouldn’t call it an “out of body experience” because i was quite conscious of what i was doing, it was more of an “out of mind” experience in a way (which i’m sure some of you would say is much better for me). for about 15 minutes, while i was driving home, i didn’t just see the same trees and hills and cars that i saw everyday, i saw huge pieces of earth stretched out before me, humbly allowing me to drive across them. the clouds seemed inches from space and i found myself feeling small. it shook my world because i felt the world was not mine, nor was it any of ours. we’re just existing on it and told to take care of it, though we’re not doing a good job at either of those things.

it hit me that i am just a speck on the face of the earth and a blink in the course of time. and yet, there are those that think the world of me. right when i was attacked by these thoughts, i got a text from my sister. the family was waiting for me to be home to cook dinner. waiting for me, a speck. it was strange. my whole life i just assumed my parents would be home to provide for me. it was just the way it was. and yet i watch law and order (my favorite show) and see people (made up people, realistically, but things like that happen to real people everyday) be abused and killed and i don’t think twice about it. what if one of them was my mother? my father? would it still be so insignificant?

we are small and fragile and fleeting, but we still are. if only everyday i didn’t think so much about what’s going on in my head and stopped to ask who i can help. in the whole scheme of things, i’m really not that big or that important, and by the same token, neither is my father. but if he wasn’t here, who would make me hot dogs?

small spaces, tight rooms.

Fri, 08 Aug 2008 00:56:01 -0400

either i have too much stuff or… well, i guess i just have too much stuff. there is no way to possibly fit all that i have into a room that i’m sharing. thus, i left some of what i own at home when i moved to my apartment. but now that i’m moving back, i can’t seem to find room for what once had room. and in trying to make room, i’m upsetting a number of people, namely theodore. i know i have to respect his needs and his preferences, but am i due the same respect? i’d go into detail, but you’d have to grasp a deep understanding of the size and layout of my room. so let’s just say that they way josh wants things leaves me with enough room for a bed and… nothing. i don’t need a desk or whatever, i don’t need a wall devoted to my guitars and the stacking of my amps, but i’d like to keep them somewhere. it looks like i’m just gunna have to move into the garage. and for those of you who know the terror of pittsburgh winters and those of you who understand the fragility of musical instruments, you know that means trouble.

too many buccis, not enough house.

or maybe it’s just too much of my ego. i just want somewhere to put my stuff…

joe bucci's day off.

Sun, 13 Jul 2008 01:00:14 -0400

man i’ve been busy. i’ve been so busy that i’ve gotten to the point, as i often do, that when things slow down i feel like i’m being useless. maybe not useless, but i get really bored. and it’s not that things aren’t happening; it’s not like i don’t have work to do. i just tend to prioritize things incorrectly, choosing those things of least importance but most excitement over those things that necessarily need to be done. it’s a problem i have, one that has gotten me into trouble before. i don’t need any more work to do, i don’t need more appointments. i just need to thank God for downtime and use it for those things that really need to be done. that’s gunna take a while, i can promise you that.