sooo today wasn’t my first day on the job, just the first day writing about it. i’m only about, oh, 5 days behind. i think the Good Lord will forgive me.

for those of you who don’t know, i’m the Ministerial Intern at Kingsway Church (www.kingswayag.com) in Cherry Hill, NJ. it’s a wonderful place that i grew up in so i figured i could mature in it as well.

today, i was at the church for 16 hours. that’s a long time. i kinda wanted to die. but it was very good. i got a lot done and the Youth Pastor (Bryon White) had plenty of time to work on his new sermon series. so that was awesome. i kinda felt important walking around church and getting things done and now looking back i feel like i need to watch out for that. i’ve found myself mirroring Pastor Bryon again — which isn’t a bad thing, by any means; it’s just that i’ve kind of assumed that the respect he has and the things he knows were also mine. that’s a bad thing. he’s spent years developing into the man that he is and i’ve been here for a little under a week. those are changes that take much time and many trials.

i want to look back on this summer and see a maturity that has developed through it, the only problem is that it’s still june. i pray that i can take this one day at a time and let that grow under the careful supervision of my superiors.

another thing i’m desiring of myself is to step up. it seems to me and to some other who have voiced their opinions that i have in me the power to preach and to lead people. most of the time i don’t see it. when i get up in front of a congregation i say, “Lord help me and everything that comes out of my mouth because i’m a retard.” somehow, he makes it not so bad. here’s the thing i need to get: yes, i need to rely on God at these times but i also need to realize that God is stirring up in me what he has already placed there. i’m really good at acting dumb. too often i trick myself. i need to stop doing that and be responsible. ::with time::

i need to go to bed now. like i said, 16 hours.