About a month ago I deactivated my Facebook. It was really a long time coming, and I can’t think of a good reason why I kept it as long as I did (aside from letting my Nana stalk me). I did it partially because I thought Google+ was all the rage and going to take off (that didn’t pan out), but the root of the decision lies in a more personal place: I had too many friends. Someone just said to themselves, “But Joe, isn’t that the point? Connecting with friends? ALL of them?” To a certain extent, I can say that I’m missing all those random connections that I otherwise do not have, but that just doesn’t balance it out for me. Facebook was meant to mimic real life social interaction, but was it really doing that? I submit to you that it was not.

Think about it: how many people do you text on a daily basis? How many people know your daily comings and goings? How many people are that heavily invested in you that you tell them EVERYTHING that’s going on? Do you have a number? Mine is somewhere between 6-10. Now think about the number of people that you share information with on Facebook every time you post. Mine was 1200. 1200 friends. 1200 people knowing everything that is going on in my life at all times. 1200 people that knew when I was happy, sad, angry, mournful. 1200 people who knew the exact song I was listening to. 1200 people who saw my new family photos the moment my sister uploaded them.

That’s really weird!

Now, I’m not saying everyone needs to go deactivate their Facebook, but think about all of these people seeing holes into you and ask yourself this: do you want them to? I sure didn’t. Not everyone I know should be privy to all those details. Sure, you can set all the privacy features, but I prefer to just not have it. If anything, I prefer to keep Google+ because I really appreciate the way they organize your friends. They use “circles,” different groups of people who see different things. I like that idea, but in real life I’d like to take it one step further.

My old mentor, guitar teacher, and one of my oldest friends, Pastor Bryon White (@bryonwhite) told me this many years ago: friendships will determine the quality and direction of your life; you show me your friends, I’ll show you where you’re headed. That’s heavy, but so true. I’ve seen my life flow back and forth through different phases and go different directions depending on the people I was spending time with and the people I was letting speak into my life.

Who are you spending time with? What are they speaking into your life? Where are they leading you?

I like to think about my relationships in the context of Spheres of Influence. These spheres are circles, much like those on G+, that your group friends into, but if you think about it as a bulls eye, you can align these spheres with differing levels of influence:

Inner Circle: these are people that are mutually influential with you. You speak into their life and lead them in certain directions, and you do the same right back. These are your peers, your closest friends and family, significant other, etc. This is the heavy circle.

2nd Circle: these are people who influence you, but you don’t necessarily influence them. Mentors, parents, pastors, teachers. Choose these people wisely. They will make a serious impact on your life if you let them.

3rd Circle: these are people whom you influence, but they don’t necessarily influence you. These are people you are mentoring, your children, teachers, younger friends, etc. Be good to these people—just as you are putting a lot of thought into picking your mentors, they put a lot of thought into picking you.

4th (Outer) Circle: these are people that you are acquainted with, but you don’t influence them and they don’t influence you. This is everyone and anyone you meet. As a Christian, I am always trying to make a good impact on these people, but I’m not putting the same kind of effort in that I am on the 3rd Circle.

The whole idea of a system like this is seeking out people who exemplify qualities you’d like to see in yourself. Find people who love God and live their lives in line with His Word and are helping others do the same. It may be tough to cut out other friends, but the change will be overwhelming. I challenge you to try this for even a month and see what the results are. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised.

Thoughts? Feedback?

I’ve been on an old Coldplay kick today and I haven’t had much time to sit and write anything inspirational, so I’ll leave you with the lyrics to one of my favorite songs: Life Is For Living. A nice hidden track on the end of their album Parachutes. I’ve gone back to this little 1:30 tune many times over the years when I’ve felt down, typically for hurting someone else. It’s a simple plea, and I will never got passed the last little couplet.

Now I never meant to do you wrong
That’s what I came here to say
But if I was wrong, then I’m sorry
I don’t let is stand in our way

‘Cause my head just aches when I think of
The things that I shouldn’t have done
But life is for living, we all know
And I don’t want to live it alone.

I slept on my couch last night. Didn’t mean for that to happen, but it just did. I was so worn out that I couldn’t make it the 10 or so feet from my living room to my bed. If you’re a friend of mine, this may not seem like a strange thing; in fact, you’ll know that I have a knack for falling asleep anytime or anywhere. Mid conversation, then asleep. Working diligently, then out cold. Heck, I’ve even fallen asleep at concerts! I work myself to the bone every day and my body and mind just can’t seem to keep up. This, as you may imagine, isn’t a great way to operate, and I’ve been trying to get back to a more manageable schedule. One step in the right direction was to go home last night and watch TV and just veg out. The first half of that plan worked, and then I passed out during one of my favorite shows. I hate missing House!

We live in a day and age where information is always flowing and we are expected to be constantly moving. How can we possibly find rest in any of this? The rest I refer to is twofold: physical rest and spiritual rest. Physical rest comes fairly easily: buy a nice bed, schedule a few nights a week to be in it by 10. Simple. Spiritual rest is a bit trickier to come by. The thing that I often forget is thar physical rest DOES NOT result in spiritual rest. You have to find it another way.

The theologian Augustine penned this phrase in his book Confessions: we are restless until we rest in You. But…what does that mean? Is God a serta mattress and down comforter? To find rest in God we must redefine what we believe rest to be. You can be running around 19 hours a day, taking caffeine through an IV drip and still be at rest in God. Matthew 11.28-30 says “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Are you weary? Are you burdened? Is your soul tired? This may be caused by the yoke (weight, responsibility) you carry every day. Are you fighting battles by yourself? Are you ever stopping to be refilled?

Philipians 4.6-7 says “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” So how do we find rest? Seek God! Pray, worship, fellowship with believers; just seek Him. Could it really be that simple? If you believe in the infallibility of God’s word, then yes, yes it is. Just seek Him. Don’t be anxious, don’t worry about anything, but in every situation seek God. It’s only in Him that we find peace.

In ministry there is an 80/20 rule: 80% of the time, do the things that drain you. 20% of the time, do the things that fill you up. For me, spending time with friends fills me up immensely. One night with good friends can make up for a week of craziness. My girlfriend (@emsteine) prefers to stay home and read or watch a movie; as an introvert that’s what brings her from the proverbial E to F. If we apply this rule to fill us up mentally and physically, should we also apply it to our spiritual rest? How often do you seek God? Sunday? Maybe two days a week? Do you read the Word each day, or just on occasion? I think this can make a significant difference in our lives.

I’m not going to pretend that I am always practicing this 80/20 rule physically or spiritually, but I think we should all challenge ourselves to make it happen and observe the results. Maybe one day we’ll push our time spent seeking God to 70/30 or 60/40. Maybe then we’ll find ourselves spiritually rested instead laying awake and counting sheep.

I wouldn’t say that I’m necessarily a jealous person. I love my girlfriend very much (@emsteine for those on the tweetboxes) and I’ll do anything to keep her, but I don’t have to go kill anyone to do so. I’m blessed by the fact that she wants me and me alone, so my job as her boyfriend becomes much easier.

Recently a mutual friend of ours started calling her babe and honey and things like that, and while my initial reaction would have been to hit him, I realize that she doesn’t want anything to do with anyone other than me. So why be jealous? I prefer to just sit back and smile, knowing that she’s mine.

I wish I could say that my faith works the same way.

We are truly, as David Bazan put it, the prostitute wives of a minor prophet: we know we’ve got everything we need, all the love our hearts could ever handle, and yet we keep running away. Time after time, our minor prophet keeps coming back to save us, never angry, just thankful to have us back. Why do we run away in the first place? What else could be better?

I don’t profess to know what God thinks, but if I were in his shoes I would be pissed. Really, really pissed. Why would these people, who I gave my only Son for, keep running off to drink and gamble and make messes of their lives? Don’t they know I’ve got everything they need? If someone cheated on me as many times as I’ve “cheated” on God, I would have sent them packing a long time ago. But he keeps coming back. Over and over. Time after time. Just waiting patiently for us and then continuing to love us all the same.

One of my favorite songs begins with this line: He is jealous for me. Isn’t that a crazy notion? The God of all creation, jealous? But He has told us over and over in His word that he is, in fact, jealous; He wants us to only want Him. And this love that he gives us is, as the song says, like a hurricane. Strong, overwhelming, all encompassing.

We are sinful creatures, running from our Maker day after day, but we need to realize that no matter how far we run, He just wants us back. Broken, beaten, bruised, ruined; He wants us back exactly how we are. Let Him love you like a hurricane.

I have always been a fan of older music. Anything that started on tape or vinyl is just better than everything that’s being released these days. Don’t get me wrong, I have plenty of friends who are putting out wicked albums, but they’re just not the old music that makes me so nostalgic.

I grew up in an old school church. It was trying its darnedest to be hip, but failing miserably. Looking back, it’s almost amusing to think about it: you bring in an acoustic guitar, synth, some drums and a bass guitar and all of a sudden you think you’re hip? The audiophile in me wants to scorn them, but the Christian in me wants to give them a solid, “Good effort,” and, “maybe next time.” I could talk about musical proficiency in the church, but that is saved for another, longer post. The bottom line is this: they didn’t get it musically; you can’t take an old tune meant for piano and four part harmony and try to splice in all those other instruments without rewriting the song. But what they lacked musically, they made up for with lyrics.

Great is thy faithfulness. I surrender all. Fairest Lord Jesus. Many of us know these old hymns and can sing them from memory, but can we sing them from our hearts? How can we sing the words, “I surrender all,” and be disinterested? How can we say, “here’s my heart Lord, take and seal it,” and not be paying attention? The content of these hymns should be simultaneously exhausting and uplifting, filling us with joy and yet sending us to our knees before God. How do you think the authors felt when they openness these songs? Were they distracted by what their favorite celebrity just tweeted? No! They were 100% invested in what they were writing. These songs are powerful because they came from the heart.

I guess that’s why I love old songs: because I love the old mindset; the old way of doing, thinking and feeling; the old way of actually being sold out for God when you say you are.

Where has character gone? Integrity? Loyalty? I’m not sure I can answer that, but I say we start looking for them again. Why not start with old hymns?